Know Your Enemy

Mar 11, 2020

Some losses of composure you can never take back: like when you threatened to kill your neighbor's kid, or the time you begged your ex not to break up with you, or that total meltdown at narc-anon. You learn to live with these shameful memories but they never sit well, yet they do serve as a reminder that keeping your shit together in all circumstances should be a priority. Dignity must prevail.

That's why starting today, galgitron will no longer...

eh..who am I kidding.. on with the depravity..


In a perfect world, all debates would stay respectful and end with either, "now I understand, thank you", or "let's agree to disagree". As we all know, our primordial ego instincts REFUSE to allow this manner of dignified exchange to take place. No, the lizard brain has other plans. This isn't about fact-seeking, it's about 'conquering', masquerading as 'debating'.

Below is a long list of the worst-of-the-worst types of personalities you'll likely come across in the cryptosphere. All of them trying to get you to buy their shitty coin, particularly Bitcoin, by pushing false narratives on other coins, or hyping their chosen coin into interstellar space. None of them have any interest in the pursuit of truth.

Cherrypick Charlie - These people are slippery liars. For example, they carefully select date ranges for price data to draw the illusion that some coins are better investments than others, even though there are just as many alternative date ranges that depict just the opposite. Total con artists. Another of their favorite tactics is 'quote mining' snippets of statements out of context, completely misrepresenting the original intent of the statement.

Price Sucker - Absolutely obsessed with using a coin's price as clear evidence of a coin's value, despite the obvious market manipulation that makes the price irrelevant; yet they will shame and ridicule you because XRP fell the most from ATH. Never mind that it also went up the most, smh.. These people are the whales' target krill, and they get stung with every trade they make because they just can't figure out that the price is the bait.

Goalpost Gary - These people are so fucking painful. Dodging and weaving to avoid being busted. Conversations be like:

  • Gary: "I say J"
  • Person with integrity: "Disproven with 3 second Google search"
  • Gary: "but X is real"
  • Person with integrity: "How did we start talking about X now?"
  • Gary: "M"
  • Person with integrity: "wtf? Now M??. Let me guess what's next, L??"
  • Gary: "Who said anything about L??"

Cray Cray Jay - Produces nothing intelligible, just a word salad. You hope it's because it's a botched foreign language translation; sadly, it isn't. Total gibberish.

Moonshot Marvin - Thinks every fucking thing that happens in the real world means their fucking coin is being used and is going to the moon. Insane dot-connecting. "$589!!!!!" "Ripple can set the price." "Escrow has already been sold." "IMF will make XRP the new SDR." "NDAs." "CBDCs will be on the XRP ledger." Lots and lots of these clueless tinhat hopium junkie idiots out there.

Regurgitator Ray - Ray's arguments are laced with countless discombobulated links, poorly-understood screenshots, and heavily relies on severely-biased junk tabloid or op/ed references as evidence to support their FUD/FOMO campaign. Their opinions can't be swayed because they truly don't understand the tech. For example, we can prove that China can take down Bitcoin at any time, but Ray isn't smart enough to understand the attack, so he puts his head in the sand and just religiously denies anything not supporting his belief system. Everything they say comes from way out in left field, but don't let that stop them from having a strongly-worded opinion.

Sycophant Stu - Blindly follows and vehemently defends any loudmouth idiot that promotes their coin. This is a particularly sad thing when their loudmouth idiot is a cute chick and Stu is so infatuated with them that they lose all sense of pride and just endlessly defends her, kissing her ass like a pathetic neglected lap dog.

Mr. Strawman - Takes the extreme outlier scenarios and attempts to smear that over all the majority. For example, a fucking tiny percentage of Bitcoin miners are using their self-provisioned green energy, so these strawman psychopaths insist that ALL the miners are green around the world and that Bitcoin really is not an environmental catastrophe! Simple! So full of shit.

Futureman - Chicken Little sky is falling bullshit. Saying things like: "Ripple is a scam!" "Doom and gloom is coming! You'll see. You've been warned!" "@AssholeReminder, remind me next week to come laugh at all these XRP losers.".. and so on. Claims to be aware of the greatest scams on Earth yet clutches their Ponzi Bitcoins with a death grip.

Todayman - These are really weird people, and there's so fucking many of them. Their entire argument rests upon the state of things today, with absolutely no ability to extrapolate into the future. For example, it's either Ripple takes over the world overnight, or they've completely failed. "Ripple only has 10 customers!". A year later, "Ripple only has 80 customers!". A year later, "Ripple only has 300 customers!". Ugh... Another favorite, is the is the "It hasn't happened yet so it will never happen!" absurd argument.. Like Satoshi hasn't spent his Bitcoins, so OBVIOUSLY he never will. Or the fact that China hasn't double-spent Bitcoin OBVIOUSLY means they never will. These idiots are the reason the slap was invented.

Yesterdayman - "XRP is centralized! Guh!".. "Ripple dumps a billion escrowed XRP on its holders every month".. "Ripple lost the first blocks in the blockchain".. "XRP isn't a blockchain"... "Ripple controls the source code".. "Ripple controls the UNL".. "XRP is a security".. "Ripple holds too much XRP so it's a scam".. "XRP is too fast to ever be worth anything".. "the Earth is flat"... like some fucking soldier lost in the jungle that doesn't know the war is over, still barfing out the same old wildly outdated or erroneous FUD like it's 2017. It'd be one thing if after showing them clear evidence that nothing they say is true, they'd capitulate and move on, but no, these fucking tools will literally deny the clear evidence and continue with their ignorance.

Teenybop Bobby - Just some obnoxious precocious dumb kid. Clinical mom's basement syndrome. Can't even speak without a pile of goofball gifs, and exponentiates every expression, e.g. LOLOLOLOLOLOLLLL!!!!!!!! I promise I'm going to block every last one of you twats.

Denialist Dan - Incredibly myopic with the amazing ability to criticize other coins for things their preferred coins are much worse at. E.g., They claim Ripple is dumping on the market, and yet Bitcoin miners dump 30 FUCKING TIMES as much on the market, but that's alright?? Or how about them claiming that 80% of all the XRP validators can conspire to double spend Ripple, yet right in front of their fucking faces, just FOUR mining pool operators can destroy Bitcoin?? Or how about that Ripple holds too many XRP, and yet some mysterious Satoshi guy disappears with a million Bitcoins and yet that's ok?? What the fuck man? How fucking in denial can one be? Occasionally they recognize how absurd it is to deny the China threat so they throw the "Stratum V2 whitepapers will fix Bitcoin" argument out there, even though V2 is SO many years away from broad adoption, if ever. Denial is a true gift; talk about covering up the pain of reality.

Sociopath Simon - Bullshit artist. Usually spreads blatant yet complex lies, but at the very least, spreads insane twists/spins on innocuous facts. Zero integrity. Zero shame. Intelligent enough to spin a lie that is over the heads of most and thus very effective in fomenting fear uncertainty and doubt in weaker minds. For example, "Bitcoin drives green energy development!", even though it takes green energy from those that use fossil fuels. Or "Ripple isn't perfectly adhering to their escrow release schedule!", but really it's just another insane spin on verifiable facts that they do adhere to their release schedule perfectly. Or the classic "CBDCs will eliminate Ripple's use case", counting on the complexity of the tech to keep people from understanding the reality.

Sockpuppet Steve - There's a small handful of people that have nothing better to do with their lives than create sockpuppet account after sockpuppet account, with the sole intent of engaging high-profile Twitter users to draw attention the conversation. These conversations start out innocuous enough, but rapidly proceed into a carefully-manicured FUD campaign. Dealing with these assholes is like whack-a-mole, block one out, another one appears right behind them. You can easily spot them because typically they don't have many followers, and/or are very recently created accounts. Sockpuppets are actually Sociopath Simon in disguise, creating endless accounts because they are constantly being blocked. They are trying to give the impression there's more people that support their nonsense than there really is.

Cover-up Corey - Misunderstood what you said, or said something that's just wrong, made a flaming remark, realized their mistake, then spends incredible effort trying to convince everyone you're still wrong or was talking about something else entirely. Leaves the conversation or blocks, feigning insult and not wanting to waste any more of their time.

Credentials Christopher - When not getting the reverence they feel entitled to for their content, they immediately start waving credentials: "I went to Hardvard!", "I'm in Mensa!", "I know Superman!".. Total dipshit that can't support their own arguments.

Agent Austin - Pathological liar. Claims to be better connected and resourced than everyone else. Supposedly behind the NDA curtain so just trust him implicitly.. "My insider connects say...". Give me a break. Like we're in 6th grade or something.

Sellout Sigmund - Built a following and is now using that influence to shamelessly promote irrationalities and stimulate coin religiosity, to further their agenda of 'pomping' their coin, and pocketbook.

Snowflake Sally - Yes, female example; because I felt like it. If this pisses you off, you might be a snowflake. These people use some self-proclaimed obviously "universal" moral code to bully their way into conversations, derailing them into tangential virtue-signaling diatribes, making their irrelevant presence felt. "Stop cussing." "Let's all be friends." "All coins are equal." "I am so offended." All the while every single thing they say in their shame campaign serves no other purpose than to get attention and feel important, under the thinly-veiled guise of moral superiority. Super time wasters.

Projector Paul - Is there anything more hysterical than a narcissist calling you a narcissist?? Lol. Fucking priceless. Or some arrogant asshole calling you arrogant?? Lol. Or some passive aggressive jackass calling you passive aggressive?? Lol. See a pattern here?

Pedantic Pete - There's detail-oriented, and then there's neurosis. Pete is the neurotic bully that grinds you into the ground with trivialities because they either have no sense of humor at all, or the subtleties of exaggeration are completely lost on them, completely missing the subtext and are now OCD-obsessed with irrelevant details, like grammar or spelling. These encounters happen particularly often when words have multiple meanings and rather than ask the other person what definition they were using, Pete latches onto a different meaning and tries to impose that as the other person's original intent. Augh!! Massive time sink

Ad Hominem Hector - Easily triggered. Dives quickly into insults and smoting when frustration mounts. Incapable of maintaining dignity when challenged, and many a debate is lost on these grounds alone. Fucking pathetic and embarrassing. Yes, I play Hector a lot more than I'd like. It's not that I'm trying to be an asshole, I just don't mind being one. I try to stay behind the lines they draw, but sometimes a good bloodletting does the soul good. Some would say, why don't you work on improving this?...which fails in understanding why I'm here. Ergo, do as I say, not as I do.

TA Tim - Modern day spiritual medium claiming that the whale gods communicate to them through triangles and Bart's, thus revealing the future valuations that are practically guaranteed. Often makes the massive mistake of using past performance as an indicator of future potential. Finishes every prediction with "not investment advice". Amasses a large following of hopium junkies desperate to have insight into the madness of the markets.

Doomsday Dan - Loves to point out technically possible doomsday scenarios, despite that they absolutely will not happen because they're either statistically impossible or requires someone or some company to self-immolate. Could Ripple dump a billion xrp on the market each month? Technically yes, and so could Satoshi dump his stash. These people always stop before asking "why"? Why the fuck would Ripple crush the price of their asset?? Senseless.

Self-absorbed Seth - Couldn't Ripple burn their stash and make the price go up? Sure they could. So could you. You go first, asshole. Ripple doesn't owe you a goddam thing.

Bignuts Ben - Steroid-eating jock douchebag moron with the mind of a child. Used to getting his way because he's so intimidating in real life. No friends. Tries desperately to extend his caveman brutality into the Internet, making subtle threats of physical harm against those that challenge/insult them, not realizing they're 100% impotent and incapable of extending their reign of terror into the digital realm.

Ass-talking Andy - Just makes up whatever shit they want to support their baffling arguments. They're absolutely convinced that nobody can see through their bluffing. E.g., "All the XRPL validators might be run by just a few people". Whut?? No facts, no research, no concept of statistics. Just straight bent over, ass in the air, spewing nonsense. Troglodyte.

Arrogant Conceited Galgitron - You think I like being overbearing, obnoxious, egotistical, insulting, all the time? You think this is fun for me? Well, you'd be right, it's a blast, BUT I am also careful to be as accurate as possible, and I dig deep when I learn something new. I make the occasional mistake, but I own them when they happen and moreover try not to make them in the first place. You don't have to like me or my style, and I'm not seeking approval for either, but I hope you can at least learn the value of truth-seeking beyond the messenger, because if you don't, fake news is going to destroy the world, starting with you.

Any time you stray from discussing/presenting verifiable facts, you are putting on a clown suit, showing the world how worthless you are. It is SO FUCKING EASY to fact check for even just ONE MINUTE so you don't spread nonsense/misinformation. Please, take that minute and earn some respect, instead of torturing the world with your pathetic underfed ego. Be the solution, not the virus.


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